One Shouldn't Change Clothes When There Are Other People in the Room
by Ren-sama23
Summary: They were doing it. The two of them were doing it almost every night and yet Gin still feels so empty inside. Will he ever feel contented or will his heart just remain barren? HijiGin.
1. Chapter 1

**Ren-sama's note:**

***giggles* This is my first Gintama fan fict! HijiGin of course! This will be a two-shots.**

**Warning: Yaoi. It might also be a little OOC since the storyline is a little different than normal Gintama stuff. There are OCs too. And maybe my grammar isn't that great.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama.**

**.**

**One Shouldn't Change Clothes When There Are Other People in the Room**

**.**

He didn't remember how it started anymore. Maybe it was the night after Mitsuba, Sougo's older sister, died. Or maybe it was before that. He wasn't sure anymore. All he knew now was the fact that they both first thought that time would be the first and the last time it would happen. They were both drunk then and wasted. And both were feeling a little depressed and needed some warmth and company.

And yet, that night was repeated, and repeated, and repeated, that now he wasn't sure if it was actually part of his odd jobs now, except Hijikata wasn't paying him any money.

Gintoki sighed as he lay on the mat, staring at the ceiling of the unlit room. The light of the moon shone from the open window so he could see the silhouette of things, but it didn't change the fact that he felt like the darkness was very overwhelming these past few weeks. This room, which wasn't their own, had become their nightly abode.

He felt Hijikata stood up from beside him and walked over to the bathroom but he didn't act like he saw or heard the other man. He continued staring at the ceiling, not even bothering to clean up as well, or at least get dressed. He didn't even blink when the other man quietly left the room, maybe to get back to the Shinsengumi barracks and start the day.

Only when Hijikata's footsteps couldn't be heard anymore did Gintoki closed his tired eyes. "Fucking Mayo-freak…" He didn't know what he would feel anymore.

Almost four times a week, he would receive a text from Hijikata saying they should meet in this very room, a place not quite a motel but not quite a decent place either. He already knew what the other guy wanted even before he set foot in the room and started taking off one another's clothes. He could say it was fun during the first nights. Heck even he was enjoying it to the fullest since the other male was handsome. But lately, he realized it just wasn't as fun anymore.

They never talked. They just immediately lie on the bed and do it. It worked for them both since no one wanted to open up and ask what the hell they were doing with one another. But now, the silence seemed too tensed to him. They were both natural airheads, ones who used their mouths and fists in order to settle things. But it was different here. He now wondered if Hijikata could feel it too. _Maybe that asshole was getting tired of all this too…_

Hell, how he wanted to cry so much. He thought it was just a game for them both. He thought that Hijikata was using him to take his mind off Mitsuba while he was using Hijikata to get laid. But he made one fucking mistake that he knew would ruin everything. It was uncontrollable. But it was naivety on his part too for he didn't realize it sooner.

_He fell in love with the bastard…_

And now, the thought of being used as replacement for Hijikata's beloved woman was enough to make him feel as if his very heart was being crushed inside his chest. It was enough to make him feel so awful he wanted to vomit. He felt so sick, so used, and so… so unmistakably… _jealous… _

He gritted his teeth. _How could he feel jealousy when he knew he had no right to..? _He knew right from the start that Hijikata loved someone else. He knew right from the start that the guy he was fucking with had no interest in him romantically. He knew right from the start that the raven was only using him because the other male had no choice. _And yet… and yet, he still felt so horrible… _He wanted so much to hate Hijikata and not answer his calls anymore. He wanted so much to end everything with the other man now. But the mere thought of not seeing Hijikata again was the same as dying. _He didn't know what to do…_

"Shit… You bastard, what have you done to me..?" He murmured in the darkness as he felt hot tears flowed down to his cheeks. He sobbed quietly in that very room, a view the walls were already used to seeing. He had been doing that for some weeks now, crying to himself after having sex with Hijikata. _He wanted so much to end everything now…_

**. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .**

It was a fine morning like always. It had been three days after his last night with Hijikata and he had yet to see the other male since then. Gin was annoyed at the fact that he had to do the strolling for Sadaharu since Kagura and Shinpachi were at Otae's place. The girl wanted him to play with Sadaharu for now and she promised to bring him some parfaits later if he'd do it, resulting to the present situation where Gin was walking in the park leisurely together with the huge dog.

He sighed as he thought of how long he would be able to manage avoiding the other male. He changed his cell phone number so the other male wouldn't be able to call or text him anymore. He even went to some extreme measures of running away when he saw someone with a Shinsengumi uniform or hiding when he heard a voice similar to Hijikata's. He knew he's acting like a coward, which he was definitely not. But just thinking of seeing Hijikata again was enough to make him wish he was in another planet instead. Not that he didn't want to see the man anymore. _But he just didn't want Hijikata to think that he was okay with everything… that he was okay as a replacement…_

"Danna, why didn't you accept the Odd Jobs that the Shinsengumi asked you to do yesterday?" Gin was surprised and immediately turned around when he heard Sougo's voice. The latter was in uniform, obviously on patrol. The other male blinked in mild surprise at the fact that Gin seemed a little out of it, not that it was unnatural.

"Huh?" Gin looked at the other while his finger kept on digging in his nose. "I accepted it, didn't I? Wasn't it already done?"

"Yes, it was. But only China girl and Megane were there. You didn't show up, not even once just to check up on them." Sougo walked beside him leisurely as Gin started walking again.

"Huh, is that so..?" He appeared lazy outside but he was actually thinking of some valid alibi. "Well, I remembered I was running out of parfaits at the time so I had to go to several grocery stores and buy some." If Sougo noticed the obvious lie, he didn't look like it.

"Well, bastard Hijikata has another job for the Yorozuya so…" His eyes narrowed when he felt the older male stiffened beside him. "Danna, did you and Hijikata asshole fight or something? You should just kill him or incinerate him. I can help you with that." He gave an encouraging smile to Gin as if he wasn't just plotting his superior's death.

Gin chuckled. "Nah, it's nothing like that, Souichiro."

"It's Sougo." The younger male corrected with a straight face. "So… are you going to accept it?"

"Well, yes, of course." Gin wore his lazy mode on again as he tugged at Sadaharu's leash when the latter seemed to have stopped walking. "I'll send Kagura and Shinpachi later to–"

"The job is specifically for you though." Sougo grinned evilly when he seemed to have realized something. "Danna, are you avoiding bastard Hijikata asshole?"

"Ha?! No!" Even to Gin, his voice sounded so defensive that he knew Sougo's evil grin widened even more.

"Then you better go to the barracks later." Sougo said before his smile vanished a little. "You don't have to make China girl and Megane come since it'll be a very dangerous job that only you can do." Gin stopped at that and looked at Sougo's serious face. If even the sadistic bastard wasn't smiling, then he shuddered to think how dangerous the job really was. _Not to mention he would see Hijikata again… Hopefully, there wouldn't be any time for them to actually talk privately._

**. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .**

"Danna, are you sure you can do this?" Yamazaki's concerned voice made Gin smile before he nodded. He was just briefed by Kondou on the infiltration mission in a Joui ship and he kept his gaze directly at the gorilla lest he wanted to look at the man beside the Commander, the man whom he kept on ignoring for a while now. Not that Hijikata was making any move to be noticed. The demon Vice Commander just appeared like his usual self, uncaring and cold.

Gin realized with annoyance that Hijikata was always like that, part of their non-verbal agreement that no one knew of their indecent relationship.

"Sakata, this will be really dangerous. You can back out if you want." Kondou warned one more time. "There's a reason why we Shinsegumi can't do it, you know. It's because some high officials are behind this. Only you are capable of this mission without getting killed."

"Leave it to me. The Yorozuya always gets the job done." He said with pride and that earned him some snickers. They all knew that the Yorozuya always messed things up more than solving them.

"Don't worry, Danna. If you died, I'll make sure to take care of your two offspring." Sougo said with a serious face and Gin wanted to punch him so badly for jinxing the mission if it weren't for the fact that he also felt he might not make it out of there alive anymore. So instead of answering in retort, he only smiled and nodded, which surprised Sougo and the others a lot.

After that, he left the place and went back home for the night. Kagura and Shinpachi were already both there, having dinner when he arrived. He actually patted both their heads, something he rarely did, before he went straight to his room, leaving the two youngsters in surprise and confusion.

"Gin-chan, aren't you going to eat anything?" Kagura asked from the kitchen while Shinpachi already thought that something was a bit odd with their boss.

"Nah, I just ate outside." Gin answered from his room.

"I bought you some parfaits though. Well, if you don't want–" Kagura hadn't even managed to finish her sentence when the parfait in her hand was stolen by a quick silver-haired man.

"Thanks." Before they knew it, Gin was already inside his room once again.

"What's wrong with him?" Shinpachi asked and Kagura only shrugged, thinking her Gin-chan might be having a stomachache. She would buy him some more parfaits tomorrow to make him feel better.

Gin, on the other hand, already prepared everything that he would need. He looked at his closet for a while, deep in thought, before he opened it and brought out a long wooden box. _He never thought he'd be using this again… _Far from the Shinsengumi's assumption, he didn't accept the job just because of the hefty amount of money he would get in return, if he would ever return. _It was because of the fact that a friend from a long time ago was involved in this job… _And he knew that he wouldn't win against that guy if he would remain his normal fish-eyed, lazy, and bum self. He pulled the string sealing the box and he took off the lid, revealing a daunting katana filled with intense bloodlust. _It was his katana… it was his identity back then…_

Tomorrow, he'd need that identity once again. He'd need to be the Shiroyasha again if he wanted to be on par with that man. _He needed to get ready and face his dark past once and for all…_

Afterwards, he lay on his back while looking at the ceiling. He knew that the time earlier might already be the last time he'd see Hijikata again, and yet they didn't even exchange more than ten words. The mayo-freak was the one who opened the gate when he knocked on the barracks. But the guy didn't even look happy to see him. In fact, Hijikata looked kind of disappointed for some reason. But more than that, he appeared colder and more detached than usual. The guy merely asked Gin to come inside and nothing was exchanged between them after that. It was saddening and at the same time disappointing. _Or maybe Hijikata was angry that he's not answering the calls, if there were any?_

Gin closed his eyes as he thought of _him. _He would need to face him tomorrow, and hopefully his cover wouldn't be blown right away. He didn't tell the Shinsengumi that the Leader of the rebels this time was actually another friend of his. They were already aware of his former relationship with Katsura and they were suspecting he also had a relationship with Takasugi. But none of them knew that they also have another companion back then, _Touma Murasame_. They told him to stay put and don't stand out no matter what happened. But they didn't know that he'd stand out there no matter how he tried not to. He accepted the job fully knowing that. _He wanted, no, needed, to fight Touma._

**. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .**

The ship was bigger in actuality than in pictures that Sougo drew for him. He was now part of the new recruits that the Joui invited inside the ship and he knew he would definitely stand out if he wore his normal clothes so he was wearing what the Joui members usually wore. He also dyed his hair black because his silver perms would definitely be so prominent in the crowd. He also appeared sharper and deadlier so no one dared talk to him at all.

They all entered the ship from the gangway and everyone was so excited to change the world while Gin could only yawn in boredom. He remembered having breakfast with Kagura and Shinpachi earlier but he didn't have the gall to say goodbye to them. His only consolation was the fact that he had to return to them soon… and alive.

The multitude of people quieted down when the ship started to slowly propel upward into the sky.

"Gentlemen, I welcome you all in this ship!" A guy from a balcony overlooking everyone spoke and caught everyone's attention. "Let's do our best to overthrow the corrupt government and start anew using our own power!" Everyone cheered in excitement while Gin kept on looking at all the people on the balcony. The guy who just spoke was someone he had never seen before. But the guy beside him was definitely _him. _

"_Touma, what happened to you..?" _He thought sadly when he saw the man looking at everyone with apparent boredom on his features. The Touma Gin knew wasn't the type to talk much, but this Touma was colder than even Hijikata. The silver-haired man immediately shook his head to erase his flow of thought when he realized he's thinking about that mayo-freak again. He needed to concentrate on Touma this time.

He absentmindedly touched the earring on his left ear. It was still sore because it was just pierced yesterday. But he needed a device in order to send news to the Shinsengumi. It served as a one-way video cam so the Shinsengumi could see and hear his reports, not to mention what's been happening in the place, while he could only hear and see nothing but silence on the other end. It was programmed so it was seeing and hearing whatever he was seeing and hearing at the moment.

The speech went on for some minutes more but Gin wasn't listening anymore since all those things were being sent directly to the Shinsengumi anyway. Well, this job wasn't really that dangerous so to speak. But seeing that Gin was known to make everything way too complicated, the Shinsengumi was just worried that he'd be caught. _Little did they know that he'd definitely get caught if Touma saw him. _

He knew that Touma was a stubborn guy and talking wouldn't make him change his mind at all. He's more like Takasugi in that way more than Katsura. That's why it's necessary to fight the man to at least know what he was thinking. He wanted to understand Touma's reason first, before he'd beat the hell out of the man. After all, they shared more than just friendship in the past. They shared much more than what he and Hijikata were sharing now.

Seeing Touma now made him remember all his past mistakes and suffering, all the people he killed, all the things they shared, and all the things that he knew he would never have again. He gripped the handle of his katana tightly and it somehow felt so cold and heavy on his side, not having been used for some years now.

After some more minutes, they were already allowed to leave the premise and go to their respective rooms. It was communal and at least ten to fifteen Joui members shared it so there was no privacy at all. Gin was just thankful the Shinsengumi wasn't so idiotic as he thought they were. They made sure that the investigation would be thorough regardless of whether Gin talked and reported or not.

The first night went uneventfully and he realized he couldn't sleep while there were many men snoring just beside his ears. He tried to tolerate the loud snores but he couldn't. Hijikata was a quiet sleeper so he had no problem sleeping with the other male beside him at all. _And now he realized he's thinking about the demon vice commander again… _He sighed as he stood up and left the room quietly.

He walked some quiet hallways before he reached a huge room that looked like a lobby. He sat on one of the couches ang sighed, thinking of sleeping there and then. But the immediate presence of someone coming closer and closer alerted him a lot. He knew that there might be hidden cameras in the area so it wouldn't be wise to act suspiciously. So instead of hiding like he would normally do in this kind of situation, he actually sat comfortably and waited for whoever was coming.

Luck didn't seem to like him much though since the very person who appeared from the hallway was none other than the speaker earlier followed by Touma himself. They were talking in hushed tones and were both surprised to find him sitting comfortably on the couch.

"My, my. And what might you be doing here in this time of the night, new recruit?" The first of the males asked Gin and he reeled for some answer for a while.

Sine he was his old self though, he wasn't as stupid in answering. "I couldn't sleep in the room since there was too much noise so I decided to sleep here instead." He smiled as he stood up.

The male was about to berate him for actually wandering without permission but Touma's voice stopped the other male. "It's okay, Katsuragi." Touma then looked at Gin with furrowed eyebrows before he spoke. "You may sleep here just this night."

"Thank you." Gin bowed a little in gratitude just as Touma and Katsuragi walked passed him. To his surprise, however, Touma stopped just in front of him and looked at him curiously.

"Have we met before?" Touma's sharp amber eyes stared into his own crimson ones and he couldn't help but feel the once lost connection between them.

"No, I believe not." Gin merely smiled and bowed again. Touma shrugged and continued walking then.

He sighed in relief when the two males were already gone. He sat on the couch again and shifted a little so he could sleep more comfortably.

The next day was just like any other day for the Jouis. But Gin knew that he needed to infiltrate every part of the ship if necessary to investigate about the officials involved in the rebels' activities. For the most part, he remained where the others were. But there were times when he would slip away and sneak in some rooms without trying to appear suspicious. He made it seem like he was just curious some times and some other times he was just lost. It was hard to do since he wasn't good at those kinds of things. He was used to just attacking head-on and fighting all-out. But circumstances were different today and he knew he had to be as discrete in his actions as possible.

The night came and all of them were briefed about the upcoming battle with the Shinsengumi one week from now. Gin's attention perked up at that and he couldn't help but listen all the way, especially since Touma was the one giving out the instructions this time.

The next three days were also filled with the same routine for Gin. He discovered some rooms filled with bombs and guns while he saw some rooms filled with civilian hostages. He wanted so much to free them all but he knew that they would have nowhere to run if ever he would do so, seeing that they were some thousands of feet above the ground. He was also aware now of the different plans they have, not to mention all the things there was to know about the rebellion. But he has one more problem. _His infiltration mission should basically be over by now but he had nowhere to run._

He sighed and yawned as he went back to the packed room and wait for their attack. There was a government spy caught earlier and Gin was glad he didn't know the guy or he would've immediately rescued him, knowing full well what would happen to the guy. But acting suspiciously now that the guard was higher than usual would definitely give him away.

He opened his room expecting to see his annoying samurai roommates chatting to one another. But what he saw inside made him realize he wasn't as discrete as he thought he was.

"I knew it was you the moment I saw you, Gin." Touma's voice was cold, but it was also affectionate. His gun was pointing at Gin's forehead, as well as the guns of the other ten men in the room.

Gin sighed again before he raised his hand up high in the air in surrender. "I didn't think you'd recognize me with my new get-up, Touma."

"I'll have to admit I like Shiroyasha better than Kuroyasha. Not to mention I like the Shiroyasha better than one sneaky rat trying to sniff some food in my ship." Touma smiled a little, one that wasn't warm at all but cool and calculating. He watched in silence as the men tied Gin's hands behind him tightly.

Gin chuckled before he was led by the men. _He's doomed. _No one would rescue him here and he didn't expect anyone to, especially not Hijikata. Touma was very strong, stronger than most of his childhood friends and most certainly stronger than even Takasugi. _That's why he needed to become the Shiroyasha once again if he wanted to defeat this man._

The men shackled him on the wall and he couldn't help but feel trapped with nowhere else to go. It seemed Touma's analogy about him being a rat wasn't that far off from reality. He was standing with his arms spread out on his either side and chained to the wall. His feet were also apart from one another, chained without allowing even a little movement.

"Welcome to the torture chamber, Gin." Touma said when he appeared from the doorway. Katsuragi was together with him and the man was spouting annoying words about spies and their lowly tactics.

"I feel very welcomed." He grinned just as the warm hands of his previous lover caressed his cheek.

"I didn't think I'd see you again, Gin, after you left me." The statement was harsh and accusing, and Touma's grip on Gin's jaw tightened considerably, making the latter hissed in pain. "You were my beautiful lover then. You were mine alone. But look at you now, reduced to some spy, nothing but a sacrificial pawn awaiting nothing but death."

"It's still better than–" The harsh kiss that Gin received from Touma silenced him and all the other men inside the room. The raven only pulled away when he finished biting Gin's lower lip harshly. It swelled and bled, and Gin remembered how Touma used to do that back then too.

With a snap of the raven's fingers, a pail of water was poured over to Gin, making his hair lose the temporary dye that he put on before the mission. The silver-haired man gasped from sudden drowning feeling and Touma smirked at that. His hair returned to its usual silver color and the sleek strands covered his forehead and cheeks. His hair appeared thinner and straighter now that it was wet.

"Murasame-san!" A Joui member suddenly opened the door with a loud bang and all of the room's occupants immediately looked at the frantic man. "There are Shinsengumi ships surrounding us!"

.

.tbc.

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**Ren-sama's Note:**

**That's it for chapter one! I hope you enjoyed that! ˆoˆ**

**(I've edited this, by the w****ay, since I got Shinp****achi's n****ame wrong.. h****ah****a. Th****anks for pointing th****at out.**)


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Murasame-san!" A Joui member suddenly opened the door with a loud bang and all of the room's occupants immediately looked at the frantic man. "There are Shinsengumi ships surrounding us!"

Touma's eyes narrowed at the man who immediately quieted down, before his eyes searched everyone for answers. "How in the world did they know–?" And then, as if a light bulb suddenly lit up inside his head, he turned harshly towards Gin. "It's you, isn't it?" He smirked. "So the rat is in ally with those dogs."

"Shall we search him, Murasame-san?" Katsuragi asked, his obvious dislike for Gin very apparent on his features.

"No, take him to my room instead." Touma told his men before he looked at Gin again. "I'll take my time making you talk." His whisper had a seductive connotation to it and Gin thought he already knew how the man would make him. Touma looked at everyone again and started giving out orders.

Afterwards, Gin was taken by several men towards a huge room at the back of the ship. It was one of those rooms he never had the chance to look into since it was in a restricted area that only Touma and the others could enter.

Touma tied him to the bed and Gin tried to struggle, remembering how he left his katana in his room earlier. He hated feeling vulnerable in front of an enemy, especially if that enemy was an ex-friend who knew him and his weaknesses personally. "You really have the nerve to sneak up here while knowing I'm the one behind all this." He saw Touma's eyes glinting maliciously as the other talked.

When Gin already thought that struggle was futile, he sighed and just listened to the sounds of explosions and gunshots outside. "I never thought you'd turn like this, Touma. You were the one against violence the most." _Even though you're very violent and sadistic in bed…_

Touma hovered over him and knelt on top of him. "I never thought I'd see you again, Gin. I really thought you're dead." He cupped Gin's face and caressed it, not even addressing the man's comment. "You know, we can still start all over again. Just say you will come with me and I'll readily forget all those years of suffering you caused when you left me." He opened the collar of Gin's robe and started kissing and sucking on the creamy skin there, leaving behind kiss marks. The silver-haired man gritted his teeth so as not to make any sound of pain, or even pleasure.

"I left because I needed to find my own identity… not as Shiroyasha, but as Gintoki Sakata... I thought you understood… I thought we parted ways knowing that." Gin said quietly after a while. "Times have changed, Touma. I can longer come with you. I'm part of the Yorozuya now. I'm not a rebel anymore."

Touma chuckled bitterly. "I see." He kissed Gin harshly again, and this time the kiss lasted longer than Gin could remember ever kissing anyone, before Touma pulled away and licked his lips. "Goodbye, Gin." And the raven pointed a gun at the silver-haired man's forehead.

"I'm sorry, Touma." Gin smiled apologetically before he closed his eyes. He knew he couldn't settle it with words alone. He knew it was his fault that Touma was like this now. _It's because he ran away from everything back then… he ran away from his past… He ran away from Touma… _He knew that, and yet… he had to try and talk, for Touma's sake too. But he guessed it didn't work out well. He knew he's going to die any second now. But he felt no fear whatsoever. _Because the presence of the camera on his earring somehow assured him that on the other side of this was Hijikata… _Even in death, he felt that he's not alone.

The sudden kick on the door startled both men and they stared as the door slowly fell down to the floor.

"You really are an eyesore, Sakata." _That voice… _Gin's eyes widened. He knew that voice. _He came…_

The gun that was once pointing at Gin was now pointing at Hijikata as the latter appeared from the doorway, smoking leisurely as if he's not in battle. "Heh, a bakufu dog managed to come this far, huh? As expected of the demon Vice Commander of Shinsengumi. Did you come here to try and kill me?"

"What are you talking about? I came here to take back what's mine." Hijikata smirked before he drew out his already bloody sword. He was smirking but all of them could feel the intense rage and bloodlust that he's aura was giving out.

"Wha–?" Touma was confused for a while before everything seemed to have connected. The reason why Gin was willing to take a job from the government, the reason why Gin didn't feel any fear, the reason why his crimson eyes looked so contented and happy, the reason… _was because of this bastard. _"Gin is mine." He immediately fired at the vice commander and Gin was afraid for a while that Hijikata was shot.

But instead of falling, Hijikata immediately vanished in that mere second and reappeared in front of Touma, slashing him.

"Touma!" Gin yelled as he struggled against his shackles again. "Hijikata, don't kill him!"

Hijikata stopped just seconds from dealing the finishing blow. And Touma used that opportunity to shoot him on the chest. But since the rebel was injured, his aim was off and he shot the vice commander on the shoulder instead before he flee from the room.

"Hijikata!" Gin's eyes widened at that. _It was his fault… _He didn't want Touma to be killed by Hijikata of all people. But that didn't mean he wanted Hijikata to die… He felt his blood run cold when he saw Hijikata fall on the floor. "Hijikata..? Oy, Hijikata!"

"Don't call me repeatedly, you idiot." The low grumble from the floor stopped Gin from struggling against his shackles as he listened. "I'll free you from there… so just… wait…" Hijikata slowly stood up, wobbling a little, before he used his sword to break the chains connecting the shackles to the bed. So instead of being freed from the shackles, Gin now had those very shackles as bracelets and anklets as they ran toward Gin's room.

Hijikata was a little surprised to see Gin holding a sword, and one emitting too much bloodlust at that. "Sakata, I don't think you'll need to use that." Gin blinked at the raven in confusion before Hijikata threw a wooden sword to him. "Didn't you promise to yourself that you won't be using that?"

Gin smiled, not the usual grin but a gentle one, and Hijikata had to avert his gaze in case he wanted to have a nosebleed on top of a bleeding shoulder. Gin rarely did that kind of smile and it was one of those precious things in the world that money couldn't buy. "Don't worry, Mayora. I can use this sword without having to turn back into that man." _Probably…_ He initially wanted to be the Shiroyasha again in order to defeat Touma. But this time, he knew that Hijikata's presence would prevent that from happening. Or so he hoped. _That man had killed too many… He didn't want to be that man anymore…_

"Sakata, you know I–"

"Danna!" Hijikata growled under his breath in irritation. Thank Sougo to ruin such a good mood. The man was running towards them. "Are you alright?" _ But at least he's worried about Gin…_

"Yeah, I guess." Gin smiled sheepishly. "But Hijikata…"

"Ah, you got _just_ that wound? Maybe a little more to the south and he would have already reached the top of your heart… What a poor aim that guy has." Sougo appeared so disappointed that HIjikata wanted to just slice him in half, especially when Sougo started poking his wound.

"Don't you dare!" He exclaimed in annoyance when the sadist tried to do more than just poke it before he tried to hit Sougo with his sword.

Gin only chuckled before they all went to the ship's roof, where some of the Jouis said Touma would be. When they arrived, two of Touma's men were there too – Katsuragi being one of them.

"Go, Danna!" Sougo shouted before he attacked one of the men while Hijikata fought against Katsuragi. The vice commander was against Gin facing Touma alone, but he knew that it wasn't the time for that.

Gin ran passed them as he readied his sword to strike at Touma. But the guy was fast even when injured. And their battle of swiftness and agility started as they both drew their swords.

"You've gotten weaker, Gin. You were the only man who could defeat me back then. But now, you're nothing but a rat who can't even raise his sword proudly." Touma smirked as he slashed Gin in half. The latter only managed to avoid the fatal wound but he didn't avoid the attack altogether.

Gin gritted his teeth in frustration. He knew his sword skills didn't dull out. _It was Touma who has gotten a lot stronger… _It seemed he really had no choice but to wake up the Shiroyasha inside him. _Sorry, Hijikata… _He pulled back from the clash and stood still. He closed his eyes as he cleared his mind of everything except the will to _kill_. Not far from him, he could hear Hijikata's voice, or rather, shouts, but he knew that if he listened to the man now, he'd never defeat Touma. And he'd never be able to defeat his past anymore.

And when he opened his eyes again, sharp and deadly crimson orbs stared at Touma's amber ones. The bloodlust that filled the air was so intense that Katsuragi and the other man couldn't help but kneel in their knees. Touma laughed manically and rejoiced, for the man he loved so dearly was alive again.

"Welcome back, Gin." He said affectionately before he attacked.

Gin was a lot swifter and level-headed now. He was a lot deadlier and hostile now too. He could see Touma being driven into a corner but he knew he couldn't stop anymore. His bloody red orbs automatically saw Touma's weaknesses and strike them without mercy. No one could stop him when he's like this, not Katsura, not Takasugi, not Tatsuma, and certainly not Touma. He could not stop himself, and he knew he wouldn't be able to. Touma was losing, but what his body wanted wasn't Touma's defeat but his death.

_Please, someone… stop me… _

His mind cried as he delivered the finishing blow towards his friend.

The raw power that escaped his sword was so intense that not even he could see what he actually hit. Only when the smoke cleared that he saw what really happened. "H-Hijikata… and Souichiro..?"

"It's Sougo." Both HIjikata and Sougo voiced in unison as they panted. Their swords were in front of them, forming a cross-like defense, stopping Gin's sword just in time. Touma was behind them, bloodied and exhausted.

"Gintoki," Gin's eyes widened when Hijikata called him by his first name. The man had never done that before, not even in bed. "The past is not to be defeated, but to be accepted." The raven was actually surprised and worried earlier when Gin's aura suddenly turned murderous, even if he wouldn't admit it.

"For once, I agree with HIjikata asshole." Sougo said as he poked Hijikata's wound again, wanting it to bleed more. Hijikata hit him with the handle of the raven's sword but he didn't seem to be affected at all.

Gin's eyes were still sharp and deadly but his consciousness was already that of Gintoki, the member of Yorozuya. Hijikata patted his head before speaking again. "I like the sharp and witty Shiroyasha. But I like the lazy bum Gintoki Sakata of Yorozuya even more." Gin's eyes went even wider at that. He felt himself warm up all over and he couldn't help but feel giddy and blush.

"Is that perhaps a confession, Hijikata asshole?" Sougo said as he tied Touma's hands behind him, just like what he and Hijikata did to the other two males earlier. Hijikata growled and glared at Sougo for always ruining the mood.

"Gin…" Touma's quiet voice made them all turned towards the guy. "Is he… the reason why you don't want to come back to me anymore..?"

Gin didn't know how to answer for a while. But he shook his head before he knelt in front of Touma. It's true that Hijikata was one of the reasons now. But it wasn't just Hijikata. There were Kagura and Shinpachi too, and the life as Yorozuya of course. "Coming back to you means I have to let go of everything I've managed to cherish all these years. And I can't let go of them now, Touma. I… don't feel the same way about you anymore."

"…I hate you." Touma whispered quietly before he looked at the ground instead.

"I know." Gin smiled apologetically. "But I don't mind."

"You're always like this… always, always leaving me behind…" He clenched his tied up fists behind him in frustration. He still loved Gin. And it hurt that the man chose someone else over him when they were supposed to be lovers.

Gin hugged Touma tightly as a friend would, and Sougo smirked evilly when he noticed how Hijikata averted his gaze to the side, not wanting to see such a display of affection between the two.

After that, the aerial ship was taken down completely without much damage on the part of the Shinsengumi. Touma and the others were all arrested due to substantial evidence and no one commented anything against the Shinsengumi this time. The hostages too were freed.

"I thought there's a high official involved in this?" Gin asked when they got back to the Shinsengumi barracks. He didn't want Shinpachi or Kagura to see him beaten to a pulp so he wanted to get some treatment before he'd go back to Yorozuya.

"Touma Murasame, your ex-lover, was the high official behind everything." Kondou said with an arched eyebrow as if it was so obvious. The others turned quiet when the news about Touma's relationship with Gin was confirmed.

Gin shrugged lazily and yawned. "So, are you people going to arrest me? After all, I was once a rebel myself and I have four friends as rebels now. But you should at least allow me to read Jump inside the cell so I can be happy."

"What are you talking about, Danna?" Sougo was the one who voiced what everyone could feel. "Aren't you the one who helped imprison Murasame? You didn't agree to become Katsura's boss either so you are neither a rebel nor a Shinsengumi enemy right now. There's no reason to arrest you." And then he added. "But if you want, we can arrest Hijikata for destroying private property and have him executed."

"Why you–!" HIjikata stormed over to Sougo and tried to hit him with the sword but the blonde swiftly evaded the attack.

"Are you sure you can go home now? You can stay here for the night, you know." Kondou offered as he felt guilt for making Gin do something so dangerous, not that he didn't believe the silver-haired could get out of it alive.

"Well, it's been almost a week since I last came home. I kind of miss it so I want to go there now." Gin smiled at everyone after he took his bountiful reward. "Good night, everyone." And he left without further ado. He grinned at his lofty sum of money and decided to buy some foods for Kagura and Shinpachi as bribe so they wouldn't ask where the hell he'd been these past few days. He managed to buy two grocery bags of foods, not to mention parfaits, and his money was still abundant. Maybe doing some odd jobs for the Shinsengumi wasn't too bad after all. Or rather, it was really worth it.

He was already walking in some alley when the rain suddenly poured down. "Geez…" He voiced lazily as he looked at the gray sky. He found some roof to stop by and waited there for the rain to stop. But it seemed to be getting even worse so he decided to just make a run for it. He cursed under his breath when he remembered that the sword on his belt wasn't wooden at all, but actually his most precious sword from the war.

"I can share my umbrella with you if you say please." A voice so familiar made Gin stop and turn around. Hijikata wore his usual scowl while holding a parasol.

Gin grinned. "Please?"

Hijikata's lips turned upward at that and he walked over to Gin, shifting the parasol to share it with the other man too.

Afterwards, the two men walked the street quietly with only the quiet pitter patter of raindrops as background sound. They continued walking without anyone talking and the silence was starting to stretch far too long.

Hijikata cleared his throat once before he spoke. "So… you changed your number?" His voice was casual but it was nevertheless curious. He didn't want to think that Gin would do something like that just to avoid him, but it seemed to be the case, especially when Gin nodded silently. "I see."

"Why are you outside by the way?" Gin changed the topic ever so subtly. "Weren't you supposed to be in the barracks?"

"…Just taking a walk." Hijikata answered flatly. He somehow felt offended at the direct answer, but he didn't to show it.

"Ah, we're here." Gin said as he spotted his house. It was still a little farther but he wanted to escape now. He looked at Hijikata and thanked him before he ran for it. He ascended the stairs and opened the door thinking he'd receive a nagging from both his charges. But it seemed no one was home since the lights were all out. He placed the grocery bag on the couch as he entered every room, calling for the two children. His ears perked up when he heard the door open and close.

"Kagura? Shinpachi?" He walked into the living room and instead saw HIjikata glaring at him there.

"So you really are avoiding me all this time, Sakata." His voice was calm and cool, just like how he usually was, but Gin couldn't help but feel there was a slight edge to it. "If you don't want our relationship to be like _that_ anymore, you could've just told me instead of running away like a coward." Any thought of wanting to run fled Gin's mind when he heard the accusation.

"What is it to you, Mayora?" Gin felt hurt at the fact that even now, Hijikata still appeared so calm. _It's so annoying… especially when he himself was losing it. _"Do you really like sex that much that you're willing to–" The movement was fast and Gin almost didn't avoid it. Thankfully, he had great reflex and he managed to evade the fist that should've connected to his jaw at the last minute.

Hijikata's eyes clouded with annoyance and irritation wasn't that unusual anymore. In fact, it was so natural that one would think it's actually Hijikata's normal expression. But his eyes clouded with rage and pain wasn't something normal to see. _The only time Gin saw that kind of emotion on the Vice Commander was the time Mitsuba was dying while her fiancée was dealing with illegal activities…_

Gin laughed bitterly. "What? Did I hit a nerve, Mayora? Aren't you always using me for fun? Aren't you always saying that to me? Ain't I just a replacement for your beloved woman?!"

"Don't you dare!" Hijikata's eyes almost flared red at that. "Don't you dare compare yourself to Mitsuba!" He seemed to have realized he was losing his cool so his next statements were a little calmer. "You're not her replacement. You will never be. Nothing and no one can replace her."

Gin felt like he was slapped hard. All this time, he thought that Hijikata was using him as a replacement for Mitsuba. _But it seemed he was wrong… _Hijikata wasn't using him as a replacement. He was just being used, period. _He was just… a tool… _"You should get out, Mayora."

Hijikata seemed to have realized his mistake and was about to say something when he saw that Gin's eyes were more like pleading than commanding. He sighed before he went for the door. He closed it gently and he heard the immediate locking inside. _He's such an idiot… _He didn't mean to make it sound like that. He just wanted to ask Gin why he's avoiding him. _And now he knew… _Gin seemed to be thinking that he's being used as Mitsuba's replacement.

"You idiot…" He whispered as he slid down the doorframe of Gin's house. _"You're not a replacement… You'll never be a replacement… because you're you…" _He wanted to just go back to the barracks and have a good night's sleep now. But the thought of Gin thinking things like that made him decide to try once more.

Gin took the grocery bags on the table in the kitchen. He didn't have the appetite to eat a heavy meal anymore so he decided to just eat the parfaits that he bought earlier. It cheered him up a little and he sobbed again as he let the sweet stuffs take his mind off of depressing things even for just a bit. When he finished, he immediately went to his own room and took off his clothes. He needed to change so he wouldn't catch a cold. However, he was still in the middle of changing when the voice of one Toshirou Hijikata surprised him.

"You shouldn't change clothes when there are other people in the room." Hijikata said calmly as he smoked. Gin was so surprised he didn't actually managed to do anything except stare at the other male. _Was he so out of it that he didn't even notice the presence of another person inside his own room? _Or was he actually too used to Hijikata's scent now that his senses didn't register it as anything different?

"Why are you here?" Gin asked as he settled on a defensive mode in case Hijikata attacked him again.

Hijikata sighed before he puffed out smoke in the air. "I… want to apologize." Gin blinked in surprise because the raven wasn't the type to actually apologize even if it was already his fault. "What I said earlier… I didn't mean it like that. What I wanted to say was…" He sighed again, obviously trying to gather as much of his courage as a samurai as possible. "I… do not see you as replacement of anyone. I loved Mitsuba. But that was then. I do not intend to replace her with your presence. Or rather… I mean… argh…" He sighed. He really wasn't used to talking like this. And it's not helping that Gin was just staring at him without any reaction. "I mean… you're not her… no, I mean… you… Fine…" He grumbled. He's now talking more to himself than to Gin and the latter was getting confused even more. "I… I love you as you are, Gintoki Sakata." Hijikata shook his head. "No, I mean… I love you, Gintoki Sakata."

And yet, Gin continued to stare in shock and confusion. He didn't want to believe Hijikata's words. He might have bumped into something on his way to his room and lost consciousness. And now, he's probably dreaming. _This wasn't real… _There's no way Hijikata would say those things. And the man even said he loved Mitsuba.

"Say something, idiot!" Hijikata exclaimed when the silence had already stretched for far too long. "Are you going to ignore me even if I already poured my everything here?!"

_No, he's definitely not dreaming. _That kind of rudeness even when confessing was definitely Hijikata's trait. "You mean you love both me and Mitsuba..? In the same way too..?"

"Huh?" Hijikata huffed with the smoke in his mouth. "No! I loved Mitsuba then. And I love you now. Don't make me repeat it so many times!" He cleared his throat when he felt himself blushing for confessing too much. "And it's not the same… my feelings for her were fluffy and sweet… like parfait, maybe. And to you, it's kind of like heavy and intense… like mayonnaise."

"What does that even mean?!" Gin exclaimed in embarrassment when he just realized HIjikat might actually be saying the truth. "And I don't like mayonnaise! I like parfait!"

"Tch." Hijikata took out his cigarette and stomped on it with his foot before he walked over to Gin and pushed the half-dressed male towards the bed. Gin stared at him with wide eyes, obviously still too shocked at the development of events. Hijikata knelt on top of the other male to make sure that the other wouldn't be able to move much. "This is what I mean by heavy and intense." He grabbed both of the silver-haired man's wrists and pinned them down before he kissed Gin passionately and hungrily.

His tongue dove inside Gin's hot cavern and he made sure to make the other male feel how much longing and need and want he felt right now, how much of Gin's warmth he sought, how much pain he felt these past few days while thinking of Gin's safety inside that ship. He was against Gin going to that ship and he was actually angry at Kondou for giving that kind of job for the Yorozuya. He wanted Gin to realize these things. He wanted Gin to know how much he cared, how irked he became at the fact that there were kiss marks on Gin's chest and neck, how jealous he was at that fact that Gin was so gentle when he was talking to Touma. He wanted Gin to know how much he loved the silver-haired man…

The taste of sweet parfait wasn't foreign to Hijikata anymore and he kind of liked it only too much, but only when it came from Gin's mouth.

When they parted for air, Hijikata watched Gin's parted swollen lips panting heavily underneath his. He saw the deep blush on the silver-haired man's cheeks and also saw the beads of sweat on the man's forehead. That sight never failed to turn him on, just like what it did now. He let go of Gin's hands so he could explore the man's body more. He smirked when Gin moaned at his caresses. They were so used to making love with one another that some mere days without it was enough to make them crave for each other's body so much.

"All this time… were you always making love to me..?" Gin asked, eyes still a little dazed from earlier. He didn't know Hijikata could be so intense in his actions. He could still feel his lips quivering and tingling in pleasure.

"You idiot, do you think I'm the type to mess with someone I don't even like?" Hijikata asked as he kissed Gin's jaw down to his neck. "Do you think… I'll continue calling and texting you if I don't love you..? Do you think… I'll call out your name every time if I'm thinking of someone else while doing it with you..?" He made sure to bite the parts where there were kiss marks so he could mark the skin himself and replace Touma's presence there with his own, just like how he wanted to replace Touma in Gin's heart too.

"But you're always… so cold…" Gin groaned quietly when Hijikata started sucking on his pleasure points.

"Weren't you the one who started acting like nothing happened the day after we first did it? I just followed your example."Gin couldn't think straight because of Hijikata's ministrations, but he somehow knew something like that really happened. But it wasn't because he didn't want anyone to know but because he was embarrassed and he didn't know how to act in front of the raven. Hijikata stopped what he was doing and stared at Gin directly. "This past few weeks… I was afraid that I wasn't doing enough because you're being distant when we're doing it. But it's something like this… If you're not happy anymore, you should've told me. You should've cleared things with me."

"Sorry…" Gin voiced quietly while he stared at Hijikata's eyes. They were so sharp and yet so beautiful that he always found himself lost in their depths.

"No, I should've told you my feelings sooner…" The raven kissed Gin's forehead before he kissed the other man's lips affectionately. "And from now on, don't let Murasame, or any other man or woman for that matter, kiss you… Only I should be the one to kiss and touch you… Only I should be the one to have you…" And he kissed Gin hungrily once more, tongue darting in and out of the other's mouth with deliberate sensuality. "Just tell me if you don't like what we're doing anymore… I'll stop… or maybe not."

Gin only chuckled before he shook his head and pulled the taller male closer, kissing him just as hungrily. He missed Hijikata so much. _He loved Hijikta so much… _

Hijikata immediately took their clothes off like they usually did. But it was different this time. Everything felt so special in every way. They didn't do any foreplay much because they were both in need of one another's warmth. No one could wait anymore. Hijikata only took enough time to prepare Gin like he always did before he thrust himself deep inside the other male, immediately hitting the silver-haired man's prostate.

Gin's back arched sexily as he moaned. His fingers clawed Hijikata's back for immediate leverage, causing the man to groan. Hijikata missed the tight warmth of his lover so much and it was all he could ever do to not suddenly fuck Gin senseless. Instead, he started slowly and gently, gradually getting faster and deeper. He kissed Gin while he moaned, his hard length throbbing in want and hunger as he thrust inside and out.

Gin panted before he moaned loudly at the sudden climax in pleasure. He shuddered as he felt himself release on both of their stomachs. The sight of his lover climaxing never failed to make Hijikata fall for Gin more and he immediately climaxed inside the silver-haired man right after the other male. The two flushed males panted while they basked in each other's warmth.

"I love you, Gintoki Sakata." Hijikata whispered in a very gentle voice as he pulled out of his lover. He took the bed cover and covered them both with it.

"At least call me by my given name, Mayora." Gin grinned tiredly as he let himself relax in the warmth of his lover's arms.

"I love you… Sweet-freak." Hijikata smirked before he yawned.

"I… love you too… Mayora…" Gin whispered as he nuzzled even closer to Hijikata. He kissed the man's chest before he decided that he's too exhausted to talk. He closed his eyes as sleep took his whole body. Hijikata, on the other hand, was surprised at the sudden confession for a while. He felt himself blush because he never knew Gin felt the same all this time. But then he smiled shyly and hugged his lover tighter. He sighed as he inhaled Gin's sweet, sweet scent before he slowly felt the pull of slumber. This was a lot better than sleeping in his barracks all alone. _He was glad he decided to stay and apologize…_

Outside, Gin's two charges kept on calling because the door was locked from the inside. They just came back from looking for Gin all over the town together with Sadaharu. Gin was missing for a few days now and they were extremely worried, only to come back home with a Gin inside the house and locked door. In the end, Kagura had to destroy the door just so they would be able to come in. They'd definitely give Gin a nagging.

.

.END.

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**Ren-sama's note:**

**Well, that's it, everyone! Haha, I hope that wasn't too OOC and too mushy. I personally love the ending though and I wouldn't want it any other way. Thank you for your support and comments! ˆoˆ**


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